TITLE: The Stars That Scar Us
OFFENDER: Smooshy
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: My Chemical Romance

FULL NAME: Sophie Bryar
SPECIES: Star cross'd Lover/Mafia Princess
HAIR: long and auburn, running down her back
EYES: "emerald" green (oh we aren't stereotyping Irish people AT ALL now, are we?)
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: is smart, cute, a penchant for natural make up, likes to pretend her privileged lifestyle is not the result of shakedowns and bloody take overs...literally
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: curves in all the right places(tm), a bmw, and a large house somewhere in New Jersey, an education at NYU

ORIGIN: In fair Verona Newark, where we lay our scene
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: Sophie is Bob's cousin (her father was the leader of the Irish Mob) and thus the mortal enemy of the Way's, the Italian Mafia in New Jersey. She falls in love with Gerard their leader, but also has a squicky thing going on with Bob...confused yet?

NOTES: I think we have the Soprano's to thank for this one...

( A TIIIIIIIIIIIIIME FOR UUUUUUUUUUUUS ONE DAAAAAAAAAAY WILL BEEEEEEEEEE )

TITLE: Avenged
OFFENDER: The Vagrant
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: The Killers/The Bravery

FULL NAME: Sam Endicott; Brandon Flowers
SPECIES: Feuding Rock Stars
HAIR: Sam: Not Described; Brandon: Not Described
EYES: Sam: Not Described; Brandon: Not Described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: Sam: Sadistic bastard, likes men and taking revenge Brandon: cocky disposition, foot-in-mouth disease, amazing ability to start drama llamas with a single word
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: Sam: Twisted sense of Justice; Brandon: velvet blazers not seen since 1965, also a black eye

ORIGIN: Sam: New York; Brandon: Las Vegas
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: each is the lead singer of their respective bands

NOTES: Brandon sure can inspire amazingly violent slash...

( Oh drama llamas...perfect excuses to imagine slash;) )

TITLE: 1987
OFFENDER: raE
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Slipknot

FULL NAME: Corey Taylor
SPECIES: Bad Ass Senior
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: a disarming smile
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a car, charm enough to get high school teachers to let him off of class, a "stomach virus"

ORIGIN: Iowa
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: future lead vocalist of the band

NOTES: Yet another high school fic...kind of interesting...but no real point behind it. I don't believe that a bad ass kid who was more inclined to smoke a joint than play football would be allowed to play the system like that, but then I grew up in the old school model of favouritism, so what do I know.

( Who came up with the term nu metal anyway? )

TITLE: I Have No Control Of Me
OFFENDER: LiebesliedEngel
BADNESS LEVEL: Awful
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Insane Clown Posse

FULL NAME: Violent J
SPECIES: Insane Clown Rapper
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: likes to curse, has violent delusions
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: an extremely nervous disposition

ORIGIN: Detroit
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: one half of the duo that makes up ICP

NOTES: I really never thought I would ever read a fic about this underground band...ever...and I really wish I never had...

( I don't know what the hell is supposed to be happening in this fic...like at all )

TITLE: A Bad Day Davey Style
OFFENDER: Puddin9
BADNESS LEVEL: Terrible
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: AFI

FULL NAME: Davey Havok
SPECIES: Rock God
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: Is having rotten Karma day; a dependency upon Jade
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a widdle cold that is makin his existence miserable...and yes, I spelt it widdle

ORIGIN: SoCal
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: is the Lead Singer

NOTES: This is just...lame...and not terribly interesting. When I write band fic, I write about interesting things that they do, not the mundane. Sometimes that can be interesting, but honestly? No one really cares. It's why there aren't a lot of songs about happy relationships where life is great, and everything is great. Not interesting. At. All.

( Awwwww...Does Davey need a hug?? )

TITLE: Of Spandex and a Miniskirt
OFFENDER: sigh_makesme
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: The Academy Is.../GCH

FULL NAME: Travis McCoy
SPECIES: Teenage Dream/Basketball Star
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: Can't tell the difference between a girl or a guy with long hair from behind, talented with the sport of basketball, awkwardness with the same sex he's finding very very attractive
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a copy of Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady"

ORIGIN: Suburban Chicago by way of New York
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: AU fic. None exists outside of the names

NOTES: Oh Trekkett...Just when you think a ship has run out of steam it comes roaring back to life with cutesy little premises. On the whole, the writing is pretty good and I realize that this was written in response to a request/prompt for someone. Still...I can't imagine them in high school like this. It just...no.

( This was all an excuse to get Beckett in a skirt )

TITLE: Pantomime
OFFENDER: Washu
BADNESS LEVEL: bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Incubus

FULL NAME: Mike Einziger
SPECIES: Lonely Rock Star
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: likes to drink cheap wine in the locker room at their high school, a strong appreciation for Brandon Boyd's naked body
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a bottle of cheap wine, a light weight,

ORIGIN: Los Angeles
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: is the multi-instrumentalist, co-writer and guitarist of Incubus

NOTES: I'm filing this under things I wish I'd never seen...

( Watch out: Here Be Purple Prose... )

TITLE: Savor Every Moment of This [Jeph Howard]

OFFENDER: gunsxgoxstfu

BADNESS LEVEL: Terrible
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: The Used

FULL NAME: Saudi
SPECIES: Teenage TV Actress
HAIR: It's "a little longer then chin length three different colored hair. It's black in the front and top with red in the middle layer and blonde on the underneath." S[up Avril?
EYES: not described, but has a pierced eyebrow
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: is a bitchy 17 yr old tv actress, who is also a bit of a punk in real life. Hun, punk is a lifestyle. You either are, or you aren't. No in between.
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a dressing room, a HUGE crush on Jeph Howard, the role of 'Tori' on a popular tv show that isn't named, an eyeliner. She does not have a make up artist...which makes NO sense. Even the Degrassi kids have make up artists

ORIGIN: Unknown. Speculating Beverly Hills 90210
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: Stars on the TV show that Jeph is guesting on. They will totally hook up

NOTES: I'm not a big fan of The Used...but this...is so...bad....they deserve so much more than this...

( This makes the O.C> look like Masterpiece Theatre )

TITLE: Leave The Light On
OFFENDER: Sonic_Youth
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Green Day

FULL NAME: Billie Joe Armstrong
SPECIES: Former Rock Star who frequently reminices about former glories
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: likes to look in the mirror while he smokes, cries when thinking about the golden age of his youth...at the tender age of 23...
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a pack of smokes, a yearning for the good 'ol days

ORIGIN: Southern California
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: Was the lead singer/guitarist of Green Day, but in this world they have broken up...and it makes Billie cry...

NOTES: I have no idea what is supposed to have happened in the fic...and I've read it over like 10x...

( At least this isn't Jesus of Suburbia...god that video is awful.. )

TITLE: A Three Way Love
OFFENDER: svrldsmntls
BADNESS LEVEL:
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Fall Out Boy

FULL NAME: Patrick Stump
SPECIES: Rock Star
HAIR: not described, though he is apparently very cute in a trucker hat
EYES: Pete says they are the most "beautiful blues" he's ever seen
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: He can make the object of his love believe that he swings to the right, when in fact he swings to the left....euphemistic enough for y'all?
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a love for Pete Wentz, Pete's love and admiration, a strong dislike for Brandon Flowers

ORIGIN: Chicago
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: is the singer/guitarist

NOTES: I really don't get all the Brandon hate. I mean seriously? He's a douche, but that's part of his appeal in an odd way. Pete? He's also a douche, but in a much less appealing way. Besides, the whole "beef" thing? Soooo 2004. Though, I'll admit, turning it into a love triange? That's something AP would never have considered...

( I'd take Brandon over Pete any day...but that's just me... )

TITLE: Glitter, Paint & Grease
OFFENDER: Banbadmusic
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: My Chemical Romance

FULL NAME: Gerard Way
SPECIES: Rock Star/Geek Boy
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: none noted at this stage
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: boiling rage for his ex girlfriend

ORIGIN: New Jersey
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: is the lead singer of MCR

NOTES: When a band gets super popular, you end up finding A LOT of fics written about them. MCR is one such band. It's funny, because I really really like them, but I think that the sue authors go kind of overboard in their portrayls of the band. Like this. Why write a comic book without any pictures? Why make Gerard a complete arse when it comes to girls..wait, never mind, I can actually see that part...

( When was MCR made into a comic?? )

TITLE: The Stakes are high
OFFENDER: Aisling
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Westlife

FULL NAME: Kian Egan
SPECIES: Boy Bander/Irishman
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: incurable ladies man
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a love of ladies who are blonde, a computer and an email address

ORIGIN: Ireland
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: is a member of the Irish boy band Westlife

NOTES: It's like She's All That...but with random Irish accents thrown in...

( HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY )

TITLE: Freddys Final Hours
OFFENDER: havokchick13
BADNESS LEVEL: Chernobyl
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Queen

FULL NAME: Freddy Mercury
SPECIES: Rock Star
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: pees like a little girl
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: an allergy to bees

ORIGIN: in an alternate world.
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: Aside from his name? None. THIS IS NOT MY FREDDIE!!

NOTES: For all that is good and holy, this is why band fics are banned from so many places...seriously....

( Does this remind anyone else of 'Poter Sues'? )

TITLE: A Dangerous Affair
OFFENDER: Furple
BADNESS LEVEL: Awful
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Fall Out Boy

FULL NAME: Patrick aka "Trick" Stump
SPECIES: Errand Boy/Lackey
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: always polite, keeps calling Pete "sir" even though they are friends who work together (reminds me of an old and really bad joke...), easy going, continues to do the majority of the work that keeps the agency running, a lack of a life outside of his job
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a secret (dare I say Dangerous??) love for Aleera Ratajczyk, the newest employee of the Agency run by his buddy, Pete. Or as we have come to know him P33n.

ORIGIN: Chicago
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: There is no band in this fic. He works for Pete helping him run his brothel escort service

NOTES: For some reason, the premise does not strike me as something that is not at all far fetched...well, at least the part about Pete owning a brothel dating service..

( Are they going to take the luleelurah on the date? )

TITLE: Carry On
OFFENDER: EmyEmEm
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: My Chemical Romance

FULL NAME: Naraku (apparently looks like this)
SPECIES: Demon
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: a great love for Gerard Way
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: rabid fanboy crazy

ORIGIN: Ancient Japan
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: Absolutely none at all

NOTES: MCR randomly crashes an Inuyasha episode...just what we always wanted to see...

( I thought they banned song fics from the Pit...? )

TITLE: Rejects Are Coming
OFFENDER: darthzayyar
BADNESS LEVEL: Awful
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: All American Rejects

FULL NAME: Sharpay Evans(who names their daughter after a DOG!?)
SPECIES: High School Girl/Disney Star
HAIR: Not Described
EYES: Not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: is obsessed with AAR, has a crush on Tyson Ritter, also on Troy
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: Tyson Ritter's Love

ORIGIN: Albequerque, NM
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: They randomly do a concert at her high school

NOTES: This clever fic was crossed over with HSM in the Pit so it could still be posted (please don't get me started on the whole Pit-banning-band-fics thing...because while I understand their perspective on it, it isn't up to them what develops a fandom or not.../rant) Not being familiar with HSM, I can't really comment on that fandom...but overall the story is just so...out there? stupid? facile? that it almost doesn't matter.

( This makes me want to Swing Swing from my ceiling... )

TITLE: A Friend In Need
OFFENDER: mkay
BADNESS LEVEL: BAD
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Placebo

FULL NAME: Brian Molko
SPECIES: Depressed Rock Star
HAIR: not described
EYES: not described
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: likes to cut....a lot in fact
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: nothing...but apparently he is the MacGuyver of Self Harm

ORIGIN: London, by way of Belgium
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: lead singer/chief songwriter of Placebo

NOTES: A friend of mine once claimed to be friends with Brian Molko...I believed her as much as I believe that this is the greatest fic of our time....

( Why hello Brian! A little Emo with your razor? )

TITLE: Dreams Become Reality A Brendon Urie Story
OFFENDER: xoCamisadoxo
BADNESS LEVEL: KILL IT WITH FIRE!
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Panic!at the Disco

FULL NAME: Raven Sanders
SPECIES: Fan Girl Extraordinaire/Wannabe Groupie
HAIR: Black, which is long and straight, but used to be curly
EYES: brown
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: Loves to Rock; is tall and has a "white" complexion
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: black converse sneakers, ripped jeans, black longsleeved shirt with a "Panic at the Disco print on it"; She lives alone in her house, also has a car...no mention of a job that would defray the costs of such things however.

ORIGIN: Unknown
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: She is a PATD fan, loves Brendon; meets him through her friend's bf, Pete Wentz

NOTES: There are no words. Out side of garbage (pronounced ghar-baaage...with a long a)...

( Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Because this story certainly isn't )

A NOTE TO MY ENTOURAGE: I feel it necessary to both apologize and explain my absence for several days this past week. It's been the week from Hell at school, and while I love writing these little reviews, the school...she comes first. I will try my best to ensure that you are not left without a good band sue, and I'll try to give a heads up in future if I forsee a problem. So no, I was not killed by an angry sue author who uncovered my secret identity Dammit Synergy!...school is trying to kill me all on its own. On to tonight's sue.

LINK OF THE DAY: This is the best test ever invented on the face of the planet...

TITLE: Double Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream
OFFENDER: blackmorose
BADNESS LEVEL: Terrible
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: GCH/TAI

FULL NAME: William Beckett
SPECIES: Emo Boy
HAIR: not described, but apparently it "looks good"
EYES: not described, but have been crying copious amounts over Travis leaving him
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: a love of ice cream, baby lust, cries all the time
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: Doesn't appear to have a temporary uterus, but behaves like the girl in the relationship anyway; a tub of the aforementioned ice cream; a copy of Titanic; a blanket that smells like Travis

ORIGIN: Chicago
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: Is the lead singer of The Academy Is.../partaker in Cobra Starship

NOTES: Anyone ever play Emogame? That is what always comes to mind whenever I read bandslash with one guy acting like a PMSing girl, or an MPREG....seriously....

( Good lord! Take some MIDOL! )

TITLE: Absurdity
OFFENDER: NeverLand
BADNESS LEVEL: Bad
BAND BEING SUE-IFIED: Fall Out Boy

FULL NAME: Chloe
SPECIES: intern/drunk
HAIR: no mention (surprisingly)
EYES: no mention
DISTINCTIVE TRAITS: She's from England (randomly) and it's not mentioned until chapter three; she is supposed to want to be a PA but can't be bothered to learn things about the bands that may be auditioning for the studio she works for; her stomach can hit the floor (which is physically impossible, but who am I to stop a Sue author from screwing with reality)
BELONGINGS OF NOTE: a best friend that likes to get trashed, goes with her everywhere and wants to leg hump Justin Timberlake; apparently a sense of humor; a cell phone attached to her ear

ORIGIN: England, now living in NYC
CONNECTIONS TO BAND: Works for the record company that is trying to hire them as a band on their lineup; will later be set up with Pete Wentz for teh secks.


NOTES: What a random wish fulfillment. If I could get whatever job I wanted through my co-op, I would like to be the slave assistant to John Krasinski, instead of pushing paper, like I always get...


( I'm a little man, I'm also emo, also into cats! )